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I miss being able to just listen to music and know absolutely nothing about the people who made it
#it’s just crazy how hard it is to do that nowadays#when I was a kid I would just not read tiger beat lmfao#or not tune in to their interviews#now it’s like you WILL hear about all the stupid shit the out of touch artists you listen to say!#like lmfaooo#I’ve been a fan of Chappell roan for like 3 years#never followed her on social media. never knew a goddamn thing about her#besides what she said in her songs#and I loved that set up#I love listening to music by lesser known artists bc they’re never embarrassing you on the national stage#idk like even my favorite album when I was a teenager#was tragic kingdom#and I feel that’s an album that’s certainly . Enchanced! by knowing a bit shout their personal lives#*a bit about#but you knew Just Enough for it to be juicy#it wasn’t like. a ton of social media drama that you saw in real time#if that makes sense#btw I’m aware how this looks coming from a swiftie blog but oh well hehe
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I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences
#youd think thisd happen at least a little bit#I love stuff in fantasy where they'll occasionally talk about how weird humans are. it comes up a few times in the story but honestly I do#love it a lot. especially that troll stuff I thought that was pretty cool#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chilchuck tims#arts#GODAMN IT I SPELT HIS NAME WRONG I KNEW I SHOULD HAVNT HAVE RUSHED THE DIALOUGE
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#this is the one i was talking about#it's going to be a brainworm for a bit i think#1k#5k#10k#20k#50k
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I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery
#sp-rambles#Edit: Head in hands and groaning why did this post become about cringe culture and “not caring about what other people think”#Like yes of course cringe culture is dead yada yada but don't you guys think it's a little off how people use ableist and queerphobic#rhetoric still to describe things they do not like? Isn't that a bit more concerning?
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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booktok did ruin a lot of romance novels bc of the demand for instant gratification but culturally it is kind of a slay that so many young women are just reading smut and masturbating all day #respect
#women Need To know that they can come. for the betterment of society#and i mean that#also a bit funny to hear men get mad about women being ‘addicted to porn’
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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And why? Cultural norms? Personal schedule? “Cause I’m always late to everything”?
Bonus points: Region and/or ethnicity?
#fresh from the river#sorry just thinking about this and curious#polls#please answer before the curiosity kills me /silly#for me ofc it depends who’s hosting#if it’s family i show up on time to help out#close friends and i’m only a bit late#anyone else and im probably close to an hour ‘late’#mini banger#humble banger#certified banger#lord help me#turned off reblogs cause this seriously got out of hand yall#i’ve got a FAQ somewhere in the reblogs
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Jayce's Journal - A Hidden Entry
#one evening viktor reads through jayce's journal to be up to date on his partner's new findings#when he suddenly comes across an entry he didn't quite expect#he's not going to tell jayce about it#but the next day when they're sitting next to each other in the lab#he smiles a bit brighter every time he looks over to his partner#jayvik#jayvik fanart#jayvik comic#jayce talis#viktor#jayce and viktor#arcane#arcane fanart#my art#digital art#fanart#comic
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More of the Silco survives AU! This is part three. Part 1 and Part 2
The girls learn the truth and Silco gets a taste of a monster
#my art#sketchy sketch#zaundads#vanco#vander#silco#arcane warwick#I wanted to finish these before I leave to my folks so they're a bit messy#you send me a lot of asks about how horrified Vi would be about learning that silco and vander were a thing#and you guys were so right#I miss you -> straight to fucking I guess#there's scenes missing in between sketches as you can see but ya know#anyway here ya goooo I'm off to the train station
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I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever
#in fairness i’m sure both past robotniks just assumed her illness would be what killed her h a#sxsg#sxsg spoilers#sonic x shadow generations#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#ark siblings#sonic#comic#my art#doodles#so this was pretty much entirely done 24 hours ago#but ironically was distracted from posting earlier by playing sxsg#and then watching snapcube play it cause her delight is addicting#i’m missing 2 chests and 2 bolts and I wanna see if I can pull it off without a guide haha#anyways now I’m thinking about the fact that maria and gerald probably went back to their time assuming maria would die of her sickness#and how that would change their respective behaviors#i bet gerald would be holding out that maria would still live a bit longer#just cause shadow inadvertently revealed he’s from at least 50 years in the future due to having met black doom before#(which rewatching cutscenes to remember this quote he Did try to play off a little bit with some sort of#‘oh what do you think the alien squid meant by ’this time i’ll beat you’ that’s so crazy’ comment)#so hey maybe it wasn’t a perfect cure but she managed to live another 10-20 years at least?#all the more reason to press harder surely!#meanwhile maria is coming to terms with her mortality at age 14 or whatever she is#frankly I bet she came to terms with it long ago the way she seems to be written#okay back to snapcube
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new guy in the Express
bonus:
adding more to the whimsy
#so i have to be forward with this after all the xiao spree these past 2 years i was close to None feeling interested to doing hsr art#until now LMAO#primary reason being: sunday#like i swear he used to be annoying as a villain but there's something so sad and cute about how he's changed until he boarded the AE#it altered my entire brain chemistry#so anyway i'm actually not supposed to post online until i have work done but#courtesy to anon when i was merely visiting my acc for a bit on that bowtie cat proposal... this is for u to rb <3 await the other post too#sunday hsr#march 7th#trailblazer#dan heng#AE quartet#yes absolutely that needs to be a tag#qiiarts#honkai star rail#hsr
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Me explaining why my grades were/are shit
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#applied to grad school today#but my grades sucked until recently due to the *undiagnosed PTSD*#so I barely met the program requirements#had to add in a bit to my personal statement about it#tracking tag#rambling
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just saw a really stupid post on tumblr where someone showed the prices of vegetables in china and how, when converted to US dollars, only costs a couple of cents, and the post was like, "ugh why must us americans suffer such high prices when the rest of the world doesn't !!!" and it's like. you are aware that you come from a country with an extremely strong currency, yes ? and that, just bc a loaf of bread costs R20 (or 1.06 USD) here in south africa, that doesn't make it affordable to the average working class south african, just bc it seems cheap to you, yes ? u are aware that many ppl around the world make wayyyyy less than even the minimum wage american, yes ? that, even though you may be struggling financially in ur country, ur dollar still has significant power over the majority of the currencies around the world. yes ?
#cacophony of kaliya#“but kaliyaaaaa :•(((#us americans haven't been taught anything about other countries bc of propagandaaaaa :•((( you can't expect us to know how the world works!#have u considered that maybe ur just a little bit uh. not that smart#lol.
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